Papa’s Girl


Same day today, years ago, marked Papa’s birthday.

Today is one of those days that I get nostalgic about my father.

Papa was my first teacher, first movie date, and first travel buddy.

He passed away when I was eight, just two years after I last saw him.

He and mom separated when I was five.

Thus, I only have blurry yet fond memories of my dad.

I’m Papa’s little girl.

We always do the father-and-daughter-only dates.

He’d take me out to movies,  to road trips, and to go to my then happy place–Jollibee.

I remember my name labeled on his big blue pick up truck.

I remember him driving me to kindergarten school.

I remember him buying me bottled Magnolia chocolait every morning.

It was always fun with Papa.

I wish he lived longer for more.

Perhaps, it’s our fun but short time together that makes me want to know and reminisce more about my father.

When I was five, Papa gave me an old family picture with his parents and siblings. He was actually showing me how he looked like when he was young. He inserted the photo in an old book that he wanted me to read in the future. I think Papa wrote something there, too.

He told me to keep the book.

I didn’t.

I remember hiding it in a cabinet inside my room but when my mom stormed his house one day to get me I didn’t have the chance to get the book. I was only able to return to my dad’s house during his funeral and when I went looking for the book, it’s already gone.

Growing up I have never really dwelt on the absence of a father but there are times such as today when I wonder about what could’ve been my father’s prayers, hopes, and dreams for I suppose his favorite child.

It is in this light that I now want to seriously blog.

If you have read about me here, you would know that I have a two-year-old son named Lance who is currently the center of my universe.

I want the future Lance to know that he means the world so much to me that I have told the world about it.

Although I am trying my best to shower him with love and care now then honesty and openness in the next few years, I cannot tell yet how Lance would grow up in the future.

If ever the time comes that he’d question his place in my life, I hope this blog would serve as a door to my heart for Lance to read, feel, accept and understand.

Hopefully in the end, Lance wouldn’t go looking for some lost dusty old book.

To Papa and SingleMomInCebu, Happy Birthday!

Birthday Cake