Single Mom Woes



While waiting for my ride last night, I bumped into an old friend. She’s also a single mom with two kids. I was in deep thoughts on where and how to get a nanny for Lance when she suddenly appeared before me.

She and her partner used to be together but less than a year ago, they separated for some extremely complicated reasons.

Last night, she was telling me that she’s been going out a lot lately to shake off the depression brought by the breakup but at the same time feels guilty about it.

Add to that the financial problems of now going solo with the kids as the father has not sent any support since they separated.

Wish I could’ve stayed longer with her for a chat but we’re both in a hurry to get home.

I only managed to give her a quick advice that it’s alright to have some fun sometimes or “me time” for herself. I know her as a responsible person and a loving mother so I didn’t add saying, “as long as you make sure that the kids are fine, fed, and safe before you leave.”

Sometimes, our conservative society makes us feel bad when they see a mom especially a single mother who goes out late to party or have some fun. I mean married moms do this sometimes so why can’t single moms, too? We also need a break.

I can relate to her financial woes because I’ve been there, too.

It was so damn hard but I guess it was twice the difficulty for her because unlike me, she was not prepared for it.

When I had Lance and firmly decided not to marry the father of my child, I knew what I’m getting into. So I mustered all my resources to prepare for the big battle. Unlike her, there was no partner; it was solo in the very beginning.

For me love has faded that’s why I ran away and I was scared to tell her that it wasn’t really the money problem that’s pulling her down but her feelings–the love that bore her two children, the anger that stops her to let go, and the fear that refuses her to accept reality and move on.

That’s what I saw in her eyes. Hope I was wrong.


I wish I could’ve told her that only a great deal of faith can help her overcome those feelings now and feel great once again.

In fact, I am still praying for a nanny to come my way.

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